Homestead News, Volume 23

Things have slowed down somewhat here for the winter. Outside of the opinion pieces we have been sharing for news, in our little corner of the world things are relatively quiet. We have our daily routines of animal chores, cooking and eating, and eating. The small lane that leads to our house is about 1/4 mile if you walk round trip. Frank walks it twice a day for about a mile or so. I usually make it about half to three quarters before the arthritis in my back starts complaining. We take the half hour drive to see my mother in the nursing home regularly. Some of those trips are easier than others. Her dementia is now limiting her speech significantly and it's hard to keep her attention. So, go our days. Watching the demise of the world and wondering when it will reach our doorstep.

We have some food growing in the greenhouse along with some basil and flowers. More flowers than usual and surprisingly, some of them like to bloom in the winter.

Turnip greens

Salad fixings - amaranth, pak choy, kale, cress, lettuces

Looking out of the door that goes into the house.

Balsam - I had no idea they would bloom in the winter greenhouse.

And believe it or not, the tomatoes are blooming. I don't think they will produce because it gets too cold at night.

But this will be the first plants I set out come spring if they make it until then.



Our baby goats are all on the ground for the year. We had one set of twins and two sets of triplets. One of the does has continued her mastitis problem from last year so we gave away two of her kids when they were four hours old. They got a few good drinks of colostrum and we sent more home with them. 

Now we have fresh milk again which we both consider to be a wonderful treat.

I have been using up some of my fabric and quilt batting making lap quilts to donate to the nursing home where my Mom lives. It's part of my downsizing effort.





And speaking of eating, today is a good day for a pot of soup. It's still warm outside, t-shirt weather, but I wanted to use some of our harvest for a good hot meal.

 
I don't like the feeling that these tools are always necessary when I walk out the door to go milk the goats, or garden, or take a walk down our lane, but so go the days of our lives. Anymore, you just never know what you need to always be prepared for.

 Until next time - Fern
 

Life Is More Serious

Realization that mortality is ever closer comes to those who are fortunate enough to age. When we were younger we knew one day we would die, but as with many things, that was off in some distant future. Aging is another stage of life with many opportunities to learn, just learn different things than we did in our younger years.

Life has gotten more serious. Things that once seemed so important, things that needed to be done 'like this' or like I wanted them to be, now seem so trivial. What was once worth arguing over, now is inconsequential. I often think, why was it such a big deal when I was younger? I wish I had learned this earlier in life.





A few months after Frank's bypass surgery he was walking in the yard, doing some normal something, I don't remember what. All of a sudden my breath caught in my throat and I thought, "He didn't die!" I could have just stood there and cried. Maybe sometimes it takes a serious shaking of our world to get us to see what is most important in life. Frank and I had many very serious conversations after we realized the only restorative choice he had was a bypass. He needed to know that I would be okay if I were left here alone. They were very difficult conversations, but left us both with a peace in knowing where we stood and plans were in place for "what if".

Then my Mom's dementia progressed to the point that she obviously was in need of serious care for her welfare and safety. It was very difficult to come to the realization that my siblings did not see the needs she had until she finally insisted that death would be better than the options they offered. She had stated these things many times with me, but I was just the girl and exaggerating things. Mom was okay. Even though she was have major delusions, obsessions, paranoia and health issues. She was okay. She wanted to continue living alone and that was fine according to my siblings. 

So following on the heels of contemplating Frank's mortality and my mother's mental incompetence, Life Got Much More Serious. Add to that our continued aging process.

The reason I list these specific experiences in our lives is only to make a point that if the SHTF today, tomorrow, next week or next year, the seriousness of life will make these few occurrences pale in comparison. If we were starving and having to defend ourselves and our food supply on a daily basis, how could that even compare to our 'normal' experiences of life? Let's face it, as people age, they have more health issues. It's a fact of life. But as Frank and I say regularly, "I'm not dead yet." With that philosophy and outlook, we have a lot left to do and offer, a lot of life left to live.

We talk about quality vs. quantity. This can be applied to so many things. Take life, the actual breath in your body. Neither of us care to remain on this earth if we are not functional. This may upset some of you, but fortunately at this time, we have a choice. Frank and I agree that if we have a serious health issue that will incapacitate us to the point that we are not functional, and the only health treatments out there will only prolong life for a short time at the cost of our mobility, cognitive abilities, etc., then we will forgo the offered treatments. Quality of life over quantity of life. 

Again, apply that to an SHTF situation. There won't be extensive medical treatments, no surgeries unless you are in a very unique situation. Health and medical attention will be provided by those around you or your own knowledge and abilities. Are you ready for that? Mentally? Do you have supplies that can be utilized for some health needs? Do you know how to use them? What are you going to do when you run out?

Life is more serious. We are focusing in on the essentials whether it is in our garden, in what we store, in how we manage our daily chores or in how we

communicate with others. We are downsizing and becoming much more focused. Frank's response to a comment yesterday said we don't talk about the conditions of the world, our country, the economy or the need to prepare anymore. We don't. There have been many that think we're the tin foil hat wearing nut jobs. Some want to know where our bunker is. There have been those that literally laughed in our faces. There have been those that said they were coming to live with us, to which we promptly responded - no you're not, we're not going to feed you. Most just look at you and politely nod their heads, but you can tell that they don't agree and think we're just plain weird. As a consequence, we don't talk about preparing or SHTF or a collapse much anymore.

We have been preparing to live, depending solely upon ourselves, for most of our married life. Almost 40 years. We rejoice that the electricity is still on and we hope to have air conditioning through

another hot Oklahoma summer. But if it's not and we have to adjust, we have tried to train ourselves to deal with that reality. Our bones are older and creak a little more. We may move a little slower and accomplish less in a day than we did a decade or two ago, but our minds are sharper, and we have learned so many more things. If the collapse had happened a decade ago, there are untold amounts of knowledge and experience we wouldn't have had access to that we now do.

Life is more serious. It would appear inevitable that we have strife, conflict or outright war coming here in our country, in our neighborhoods throughout the land. Many, many sources indicate the economy is on the brink. We saw an

article a few days ago indicating a housing collapse is now occurring or on the precipice in 40 major cities around the country. 2008 anyone? You don't even hear about it because of all of the lies, innuendoes and major contention in Washington. We have no national government, we have warring factions spending our tax dollars to attack and 'investigate' each other. What about the country? What about The People they were elected to serve? That is a joke. There is no functional government anymore, looking out for the welfare of our country. There is only a slow motion collapse into anarchy in the once hallowed halls of congress and our nation's capital. Where can that lead? What kind of example are they setting? No wonder there is more contention, hatred and violence on every street corner in America.

Enjoy every day, for it is a gift. Live your life in gratitude of your daily gifts. Work hard, for nothing is more satisfying than the results of your own two hands or applying your mind to something. Relish the sunshine on your face and the love and admiration of your family. Earn and maintain the reputation of being an honest person of high moral character and integrity. In the end, what really matters? The only thing you will leave behind is your legacy, good, bad or otherwise.

Relish the joy and freedoms of your life everyday because if Life Is More Serious now, just wait until that day arrives that we are no longer falling off the cliff as a civilization, but we hit bottom with a resounding crash.

Until next time - Fern

A Fidget Blanket

I had never heard of a fidget blanket until a few days ago when I was visiting my Mom in the nursing home. She has been there for about a year and a half because of her dementia. I go to see her a couple of times a week. Mom is non-ambulatory now and spends her time in a wheelchair or in bed. She is still able to feed herself, although the food is pureed because of choking.

The last time I was there she kept touching my hair and the buttons on my shirt as we 'visited'. Mom doesn't talk much anymore. She does say some old familiar phrases during a conversation and some of them are in the appropriate places. There are times when she tries to express something that she gets a few intelligible words out, but usually they are all nonsense words, so there is not a lot of meaningful conversation.

This quilt was made by Mom's mother and sister.

My career was teaching special education, most of it in the elementary grades. Interesting enough, this has probably prepared me better than anything besides a medical career, to deal with Mom's decline. She gets an 'evaluation' on her performance every time I see her, comparing abilities on speech, movement, alertness, etc. When I leave each time I seek out a staff member and give them my 'report' of what I observed.

This is where the fidget blanket comes in. When I reported the concentration on fingering my hair, shirt and buttons to the nurse on duty, she said they had discussed how to help another resident that morning in their staff meeting, that had the need to fidget with things. They were thinking if they could provide this person with something to feel and 'do' that may help them be more comfortable and peaceful. The nurse pulled up these pictures on her phone.

I asked her to send them to me so I could make something for Mom. She was surprised when I said make, so I explained that I grew up sitting next to Mom at her sewing machine while she made my clothes.

Mom made this for me when I was a baby.

 When I got home and explained the blanket to Frank, we got to work picking out fabric and items of varying textures to put on the blanket for tactile and visual stimulation. Here are some of the things we came up with.

By the way, this light that Frank put in for me is great. There just wasn't enough light under the shelf for me, even with the light on the machine and the room overhead light. It's great having a husband that can provide the help I need.

 









I put four layers of quilt batting in between two pieces of fleece for the base layer. 

 
The edges of the batting were rolled up and tacked down to make a bump or edging kind of thing around the edge.

The edges of the fleece were fringed, then the blocks were cut out and hemmed to prevent fraying. I have these small totes of sewing 'stuff' I have collected over the years that yielded lace, ribbon and rickrack for the block trim and to attach other items.

 

This yarn came from Mom's house.

It looks kind of funny to me, but I hope Mom likes it. 

 

 

I went through a long time of mourning when Mom first went in the nursing home. You see, for over eight years, she lived about 200 yards away across the pasture. Her illness and the regular 60 mile round trips to the nursing home have impacted our lives in ways we never thought of or planned for really. 

When this disease started to unfold in earnest, there were serious disagreements with other family members about Mom's help and care. Unfortunately, by my choice, some of these differences have lead to permanent disconnect with some family members.

In the effort to understand and help Mom, Frank and I have read several books on dementia and dying. We have also made plans for our own mortality. Many things have come and continue to come from this ongoing experience.

We hope to hear from others how they have, or are dealing with dementia in their loved ones. There have been many people that have told us they are so sorry we are having to go through this, and we appreciate the sympathy, very, very much. What I am hoping, through writing about this, just like about preparing for anything, is to share experiences and glean some knowledge and insight from others, because I sure don't have many answers about this uncharted path. So, I look forward to hearing from you.

Until next time - Fern

Changes in Life

Changes. A lot has changed in our lives since the last time we wrote here, but a lot has stayed the same as well. Thought we'd let you know what's been going on for the last three years.

What hasn't changed? We still live on our homestead, have goats, chickens, cats and our Great Pyrenees. There is still a garden where a lot of our food is grown. The world continues to appear to be in for a great reset, which seems to be holding off for now, even with the shaking and rattling that comes and goes worldwide every day. That is not a reference to earthquakes, by the way.

What has changed? Much. 

At the time of our goodbye, I was in the midst of having hand surgery for trigger finger and ganglion cysts. That turned into one of the ordeals of our lifetime, which ended up with a serious actinomyces infection that necessitated six months of antibiotic treatment. That story will be an article or two all by itself.

Also during that time, it became apparent that my mother was entering some serious stages of dementia. She is now in the final stages and lives in a nursing home. This will also be a continuing story that contains many trials, frustrations and heartaches that will be shared. It will be good for me to write it all out and get input from others, their perspectives, their insights and experiences.

And then about two years ago Frank had a double bypass. The need for it came as a shock since he hadn't shown any previous symptoms, nor have a heart attack. This has been the biggest life altering event that continues to impact our daily lives, goals and perspectives. There have been many serious, difficult conversations concerning our lives and futures since this event, and some of those topics will be shared with you.

Frank still works with radio and there have been some ups and downs there which he will be sharing along the way. Some things worked out as planned, and some didn't.

We have increasingly found our life of homesteading and preparing, our chosen path, has been a lonely one. There aren't many people we meet that choose to live this way. Some still say 'that sounds like so much work' or 'why don't you just buy it at the store'. We are just too different for most people's taste, and make them uncomfortable, and yet, would not choose to live any other way. It seems some of the most meaningful 'conversations' we have had about this way of life has been here, sitting at a computer, 'discussing' life with strangers. Interesting.

There is much to share now that we're back to writing on the blog. Know that in many ways it was a relief to stop writing. The blog had become a burden, with the feeling and pressure to perform on a regular basis. That aspect was not missed, so our posts may be irregular and only occur when there is something worthwhile to share. For now we would like to share what we can in the hope that it may help someone else along the way. Frank has always been a teacher and continues to search for ways to help others.

Life's priorities change with time and circumstance, and you will see this has happened with us. We look forward to interacting with our friends out in blog world again, have missed your comments and have wondered how many of you are doing. It's an interesting thing to 'know' some folks that we have never met, never talked to and probably never will. The way all of us are presented online never shows the real person behind the words, and yet, the interaction it makes possible could never happen any other way.

We look forward to our future conversations.Your comments are encouraged and critical, others benefit from what we talk about here, all of you and I sharing our ideas and visions. We're all in this boat together. Just remember, don't get on the bus.

Until next time, Fern