The Road Home

The Road Home
There is no place like home.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Just Grow Up!

You know, sometimes there are people that just won't grow up. They want someone else to do everything for them, make decisions for them, make sure they don't fail, tell them how and what to think, and just in general present themselves as whiny, sniveling, dependent pests. Fern doesn't care much for whiners. Well, that wasn't very nice was it? But it's true. Sorry, but some people may find this post to be a tad bit irritating and others may find it to be offensive. If you find it offensive, then let us apologize now. If you find it irritating, good.

There are many people that just can't make a decision. They waffle back and forth, and back and forth, until they've dug a trench in the ground deep enough to bury themselves, and still no decision has been made. One time Frank was in a staff meeting where the decision of the day was what color table cloth to put on a table for a student event. After 45 minutes of discussion, still no decision was made, and Frank was just about to lose his mind. Frank is a very decisive person. He considers the information presented, analyzes the situation and makes a decision. If it is something that is imminent, he has a decision made in a matter of minutes or seconds. If it is something that can wait, he will take more time to ponder things. The ability to make a decision is one of the things that made Frank a very effective school principal. He was once in a meeting where the athletic director was being questioned about something that had happened. We always admired the response the director gave when he was questioned. "It was my call, and I made it." That's it. Situation, analysis, decision. 

Folks that continually sway back and forth will be greatly taxed to decide what to do when faced with a life and death survival situation. That indecisiveness may be the death of everyone involved. Even if it is the wrong decision, in most situations a decision must be made. Hopefully if the wrong decision is reached, there will be time to correct it or recover from it, but standing by and wringing your hands is not the thing to do. Decide and take action instead of wasting precious time wondering what to do, or waiting for someone else to decide for you.

Frank has people contact him about radio information. "What is the best radio?" And he repeatedly responds, there is no best radio, there is no best gun, there is no best truck. Frank is always polite, of course, but in the real world, he is not always polite. He reminds people of the old saying, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen." You see, he can't decide what radio is best for someone. He has decided what radio is best for him. He has decided that multiple times. And next month, he may decide that there is another best radio for him. But, all of these are his choices. We all learn everyday. Sometimes we get new information, but we can't always wait for that perfect, in this case, radio. New and improved is not always better. 

There comes a time when you have to decide what is best for you, your family and sometimes your community. Frank has been known to tell people, "Start at the shallow end of the pool and work your way in." If you can't swim, don't jump into the deep end of the pool. Frank has a name for that, he calls it stupid. Start at the shallow end, take your time. No one says you have to go to the deep end any time soon. That's your decision, and your choice, when you do that. Frank, in his gentle demeanor, has insinuated to folks that if you're afraid to get into the shallow end of the pool, then go back and play in the kiddie pool. Everything is safe in the kiddie pool, because the kiddie pool always has adult supervision.

This might sound a little harsh. It might sound even a little bit cruel, but indecisiveness, especially paralyzing indecisiveness, can stagger any form of growth. So, what color of table cloth did they decide at that Christmas meeting? Red, green, red, green? Instead of being a two hour decision, in Frank's mind it was a two second decision. Little background here. This was one day at school where they were going to show a video. There was a table at the back of the room, one table, with cookies and chips, in a semi dark room. Well, I can't decide. Green or red?? Five adult educators, two hours later, and no decision. There are reasons why some people drink.

Okay. It doesn't make any difference what gun you choose, because it is your choice. But people will debate to the end of the earth which caliber is best to stop a 190 pound deer. It's an endless discussion. The Ford, Chevy, Dodge debate will go on until we go back to horse and wagon. I'm not even going to address sporting events. Making a decision is as easy as flipping a coin. Now this is from Frank. Grow up, man up and do what is right. And then you hear this whining sound. But what if I don't make the right decision? Then call up your mommy and ask her! And if your decision doesn't work out for you, you can always blame the former administration. I'm sorry, I meant to say, the way you were raised.

Like I said earlier. Grow up and man up, and make a decision. More people have been killed or hurt by indecisiveness, not by wrong decisions, but by no decisions. If your family is in danger, what are you going to do? Stand there and chew on your fingernails and wet your pants? Can't you see the storms coming? Take a time frame of five years and look back five years. Look at every major factor that affects your lives, and tell me if any one of them is getting better. And you seriously believe that in the next five years that things are going to get better? 

It doesn't make any difference whether you bug in, bug out, but you've got to get off of the fence and make a decision. And if you can't make a
decision now, when are you going to? Well, I don't know what my neighbors would think if I were to store food. Who cares?? It's none of their business. Well, I've read that a 223 is too small. I've read that a 9mm is too small. Excuse me here, but there have been more humans stopped with a 223, which is a 5.56, in modern times than any other round. What is the debate? Well, I want a 7.62 x 39. Then get one! Quit reading and get which ever one you want, but decide! The 9mm issue. But a .45 has better stopping power. Can't deny that, especially if a man is running at you with a spear. But the 9mm has sent more people to heaven than the .45 has. Let's see, give me a choice, 9mm seventeen shots, .45 maybe ten shots. You decide, but do it today. And if you can't decide, flip a coin and go with whichever way it lands. Do you need somebody to tell you what kind of coin to flip? Once you make a decision, don't go back and second guess yourself. This activity is counter productive. Look forward, not backwards. Do this a few times and it will get much easier.

There comes a time in life where we have to step up to the plate, and I'm speaking to the men here primarily. You will never get on base, much less make it home if you are afraid to step up to the plate and take a swing. A boss of mine years ago told me more than once, "It's time to put on your big girl panties and make a decision." Or....there is the kiddie pool, but I guarantee you, the big pool is significantly more gratifying. Now what shall I have to eat? Scrambled eggs or fried eggs? Decisions, decisions!

Frank & Fern
 

20 comments:

  1. Don't hold back; tell us what you really think, lol. I agree with everything you say.....nowadays it seems we have raised a generation of sniveling wimps. Political correctness will do that. Shit or get off the pot my late husband used to say. Make a decision and go for it. But then, I am an old lady,,...what do I know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your direct comments, Tewshooz. Either lead, follow or get out of the way. There's all different ways to say it. Thank you for your comment.

      Frank

      Delete
  2. teehee. is it bad that this post made me giggle? decisions, small and large, that affect today and tomorrow, occur regularly. and even if you make a bad decision - you can fix it tomorrow. i think a lot of people can't make decisions quickly because they have never had to do so in their lives. i pity those fools. thanks Frank and Fern, another good post!

    your friend,
    kymber

    ReplyDelete
  3. There are two very important absences in your "take a leap" application of risk, in making suggestions to others and in your opinions of setting examples for their risking new behaviors.

    First, You must have FAITH in Jesus. You must have FAITH and Request HIS guidance in prayer that what you are seeking is even something that HE wishes to BLESS you with. When you receive that answer, you'll also learn to ask for wisdom to be able to make the much harder decisions that have personal consequences attached to that decision.

    Second, Not all people are equipped with the level of discernment that Frank has been blessed with from HIS creator. Given this gift and blessing, He, Frank, has been given an opportunity to minister and bless others with His GIFT and his ability to teach them. To teach them HOW to follow and apply the First rule above first. Then to seek a shepherd (like Frank), if they are a bolder seeking sheep, to learn how to to ....well anything, whether how to have FAITH in their maker, or just HOW to learn the steps to take to learn a new skill, or how to make a harder decision that has personal consequences attached to them, or in some cases has positive advantages attached to them. (For there are some who cannot Discern whether what they seek is for themselves, or for some other ulterior reason and purpose, like pride, envy, or malice.)
    Go back through Biblical scripture and you will see countless examples of our predecessors who suffer from the limits of their HUMANness, and who sought out the refuge and comfortable protection of Moshe. Man did not even want to HEAR the actual sound of their Creator, much less SEE him! Not much has changed.
    This is the nature of HUMANness. Nothing has changed in modern chronology of mans ability to HEAR and SEE and seek to follow the LAWS given by their creator.

    TEACH. But teach HIS methods.

    Amein.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your very thoughtful comment.

      Frank

      Delete
  4. Loved this post! Here are some of the things I tell my students. Life isn't a T-ball game. You don't get a trophy just for showing up.
    Take a risk, try, you already have a zero (no points). You can fail anymore than that.
    This is middle school. If you want me to hold your hand go back to elementary.
    You learn more from trying and failing than from doing nothing.
    Get over yourself and make a decision, you only have ___ minutes left.
    Don't make something big out of something small by not acting.
    You are responsible for your decisions. Indecision is a choice that you are responsible for.

    I am old fashion and close to retiring. I go with what works, tough love! My students know I care, but I don't allow excuses. I tell them leave the excuses at the door. No whiners allowed in here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is very similar to the philosophy that Fern and I used for years in the classroom. Whining gets you no where, it's nonproductive, it solves nothing, and sometimes you just get tired of hearing it. For crying out loud, grow up and quit whining! I'm glad I'm retired. My dog doesn't whine and has absolute love. Now, I've got a cat that's a whiner, so much so that we've changed his name to.....Whiner. Thank you for sharing your comment.

      Frank

      Delete
  5. Awesome post! Decisions can be hard...and yes you can make 'wrong decisions' how else can we learn? I know many of my friends and family were stunned when I made my decision to be with Ralph and sell my land so "WE" could have the right start together. They all asked "What if its the wrong decision?" All I know is there came a moment when we knew to be a couple something had to change...we had to do something, we had to make a decision! It took about 5 minutes and we have never looked back. It has not all been easy and we are still working toward our goal but it has been so worth it! Maybe our Leaders need to look at things and MAKE the HARD decision, quit waffling and get off the fence before the plank rots!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fiona, about 14 years ago, when Fern and I moved to Alaska, we had people seriously ask us, "What if it doesn't work out?" Lots of people are just afraid, they're afraid to change, they seem to be stuck in complacency. Most of the time that's just paralysis induced by fear. Thank you for your thoughts.

      Frank

      Delete
  6. Usually the only thing accomplished during a meeting is the date for the next meeting. My best decisions were, without doubt, the ones I based on an immediate gut reaction. ALL of the decisions I've made after ruminating and worrying proved to be incorrect by a long shot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On occasion Fern and I will develop a topic, let it sit for a while, and come back and visit it. We will even get outside advice. But, most of the time it's just gut reaction. If it doesn't feel right, we don't do it. Thank you for your comment L.J.

      Frank

      Delete
  7. I have to admit, it's hard for me to make a decision. Big decisions are easy for me. Little decisions that don't really mean anything, not so much. I'm not a whiner. I can't stand whiners. I just want to make sure I make the right decision, especially when that decision affects other people. But, the conversation about the color of the table cloth would have drove me crazy too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are some decisions that it really doesn't make any difference one way or the other. What do you want for breakfast? It doesn't make any difference. Eggs are fine, cereal is fine, enchiladas are not fine. I just can't decide what to say here. But on a more serious note, thanks for the comment.

      Frank

      Delete
  8. Actually, we had a sermon this past Sabbath that was taken from the children's story book: The Big Bad Wolf. The sermon guy actually read it to us and sang "Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf. . . " but the message is truly sobering. Two of the three little pigs took the easy way out, built quick and sloppy (inadequate) houses and then spent their time playing and singing and in silliness. Well, you know the end of the story. . . those two who didn't want to face real life or the challenges of real life were dinner for the Big Bad Wolf. It was the little pig who took reality "by the horns" and did the very hard thing; spent his time studying, working, focused on the long term. . . and he lived "happily ever after." ;-) Such great wisdom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lorraine. Interesting story. There are reasons why they make up the childhood stories. It's a way to teach young kids. It's also good for us older people to go back and read those kids stories too, because looking around, a lot of us, myself included, don't always do the things we should do. Thank you for the reminder.

      Frank

      Delete
  9. When you think about it, sometimes the best education is gained from a bad decision.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Vickie. Thank you for the comment. I think most of us would agree with what you said about learning from bad decisions. I guess it just depends on the severity of the bad decision. But then, when the Big Guy wants you, he's going to take you. Thank you for your comment.

      Frank

      Delete
  10. I have been in those meetings!!! Arrgghh!!! Thought provoking with a little humor to take out the sting - as usual - Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathy, I've an old saying, it's at the top of our blog. Humor is the Essence of Survival. I need to focus on that a lot more often. Thank you for your comment.

      Frank

      Delete